The Mind of David Krider

Our HOA president has repeatedly harassed us about parking on the street in front of our own house. I need to summarize how we got here, because there’s a definite pattern.

First, she told me that I couldn’t park on the street because we lived in an HOA, as though that, in and of itself, precluded it. I told her my copy of the covenants said nothing about parking passenger cars on the street.

Second, she implied that I didn’t have the latest copy of the bylaws, but wouldn’t supply me with a copy that she deemed current. So I went to the recorders office and confirmed that my copy is, in fact, the latest legal instrument that applies to my lot.

Third, she told me that the city didn’t allow it. I called the police department, and they said, if there were no signs, there were no restrictions.

Fourth, she told me that the garbage collectors don’t like it. I called the city garage, and they said they didn’t care.

Fifth, she said that emergency vehicles can’t get through if there are cars parked on the street, and says the fire department “reviewed” her rule. I called the fire marshal, and he confirmed that fire trucks were no bigger than school busses, which go through the neighborhood with cars parked on the street, every school day. He also said that if the streets were too narrow for emergency vehicles, the city would ban parking on one side or the other.

Now she claims that, as the president of the association, she has the authority to unilaterally make up rules, under a general safety clause in the by-laws, and that the association’s attorney said this was legal. She hasn’t faithfully represented the positions of any other cited sources, so she’ll have to forgive me if I cannot trust what she says any more. Given the history on this topic thus far, I believe she is either misconstruing what he said, or distorting what he said for effect in the process of relaying it to me.

So I called my attorney. He feels — and I wholeheartedly agree — that any change to the covenants would need to follow the change procedure outlined in the covenants themselves, especially changes to rules that are already covered.

I was ready to dive into all of this when I finally realized…

Arguing with a narcissist is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. You just get tired, and the pig loves it.