I’ve seen about 18 doctors in the past 3 years. I’ve honestly lost track. Every single visit was about one thing: I’m in constant, extreme pain. Yet every single doctor has refused to prescribe me ANYTHING to help with the pain. Not one. Not one time.
I just saw 2 pain specialists today, and they wouldn’t do it either. I was told that it would interfere with treatments. First, I can NOT take pain meds when we do procedures, you know. I mean, we all understand that, right? Second, it’s taken me THREE MONTHS just to get that appointment because of our stupid insurance system, and now it’s going to be ANOTHER month before I come back for the first treatment. Can I not get something for this next month of waiting around? No, go home and suffer in silence until you’re summoned again.
I’m just so utterly exhausted and angry and worn out. I’m LIVID. I’ve been LIVID for HOURS now. I understand that doctors not wanting to prescribe pain meds is a giant overreaction to too many opiates in treatments, but of all the situations where pain meds might be called for, this seems to be the TEXTBOOK case, and I get NOTHING. For over 3 years now. Endless, constant pain, and all the mental anguish that implies, but I’m just supposed to see counselors and pray.
I’m sorry, I don’t have magical powers. Whatever mental, emotional, or spiritual reserves I could have used to simply “deal with it” were exhausted a LOOOONG time ago. I’m sitting here at an 8 this evening, and I want to throw things through walls, break windows, and trash my stuff like I was a drug-abusing rock star in a hotel room in the 80’s. The Bible says God won’t put more on you than you can bear. I’m declaring I’ve officially hit my limit. Your move, God.