Category: Humor

Smart Pipe | Infomercials | Adult Swim – YouTube

Everything in our lives is connected to the internet, so why not our toilets? Take a tour of Smart Pipe, the hot new tech startup that turns your waste into valuable information and fun social connectivity.

This is no longer a joke, proving, once again, that humor is dying, as there is nothing left to parody.

Behold, an actual incarnation of the joke, just 7 years later.

Scientists believe that a new groundbreaking loo, dubbed Smart Toilet, that takes photos of your poo will be a gamechanger for millions and their health.

It will be able to examine your poo with an algorithm and warn your doctor of any problems that could help keep the nation healthy.

Source: Groundbreaking smart toilet takes photos of poo to send to doctors for analysis

I did a double take to check the date, and make sure it wasn’t April 1st. No doubt, the monetization plan for this product is not only to provide a service, but become the de facto monopoly player in poo analysis, and then? I don’t know. Probably put a screen on the back of the toilet, and sell advertising, tied to your stool analysis, as well as everything else. Imagine the investor pitch: “More people have toilets than even have cell phones! The market is truly unlimited!”

SMH.

*The* Suicide Squad

So DC has finally figured out how to get some of that famous Marvel movie success: hire a (possibly disillusioned) Marvel director to make a movie for you. Oh, and poach 2 of the most-popular franchise character actors while you’re at it.

Oh, and, uh… also keep featuring one of the two most-compelling characters ever created in the universe, starring one of the most beautiful women in the world. That can’t hurt.

Meet the Hollywood divorce lawyer hired by Kim | Evening Standard

After six years of marriage, titillating headlines and rumoured meltdowns, it appears that the first couple of Calabasas are (almost) no more. Kim Kardashian is said to have filed for divorce from Kanye West.

Source: Meet the Hollywood divorce lawyer hired by Kim | Evening Standard

I normally have a strict no-Kardashians rule, but I called this. I knew that as soon as the mean time between mentions died down below a weekly level, they would divorce. Now that Trump is out, Kayne isn’t going to be able to generate the occasional headline with his crazy, right-wing head fakes, so this is it. They’ll purposely drag this process out for all its worth. And, once all the press attention has been wrung out of it, she’ll find someone else with which to start the process all over again. This is nothing but business, and all very, very predictable.

So True, and So Wrong

This resonates with me. Spend millions on some new equipment to make widgets better? Sure! Spend thousands to improve the functionality of the lifeblood of the company? Well… I don’t know…

Seriously, though, there’s so much wrong with the way this movie treats this plot point. First, there’s the issue where the only other guy who can get in the system doesn’t have all the access. Second, there’s the issue where there are “a million” lines of code in a monolithic application which clearly covers lots of independent systems, and the other guy can’t even begin to track down where the problem might lie. Third, the little grade-school-aged girl says she knows Unix. Fourth, she then navigates a GUI-based filesystem browser — which no one has ever used in any serious capacity — to find and run an executable — starting from /usr, no less — that magically fixes everything.

I always wondered why I never liked the Jurassic movies very much. Maybe this was a large part of the reasoning.

Confirmed: Gucci Fall/Winter 2020 Menswear Still Slaps

Alessandro Michele turned up his blouse game and blasted Marilyn Manson on the Milan runway for his latest collection, a statement against toxic masculinity

Source: Confirmed: Gucci Fall/Winter 2020 Menswear Still Slaps

The movie, The Devil Wears Prada, made me actually consider that there might be something to the fashion industry. Gucci’s 2020 menswear collection has destroyed that notion. This is one of the 4 or 5 most-influential fashion brands on the planet. You can’t convince me that this picture isn’t the result of being told, “You have 2 minutes to run through a Goodwill, and anything you can fit in this bag will be free,” and putting on a runway with the result.