Author: David K.

Death by Software: Let’s Review

This morning, I woke up early, so I played Fallout 76 before starting work. It’s buggy. We all know that. In fact, it’s famously buggy on the Playstation, especially. But this is a game, and I have two options: take it, or leave it. So I continue to “take it.”

This morning, I was trying to do a story mission on a second character — a really annoying story mission — buried in the most labyrinthian “dungeon” in the game. A half hour into the very lengthy mission, and almost at the end, I couldn’t click “the thing” to do the next step. It was right in front of me, highlighted with a mission quest marker and everything, but I couldn’t interact with it. The only thing to do was kill the game and start over.

After traveling back to the spot, and loading into the “dungeon,” getting most of the way through the labyrinth, I followed the quest marker — the single marker, after turning off all other markers — through a door. The marker then showed that I needed to go right back through the door that I just came out of, and then I got hit with the infinite load screen bug.

So I traveled all the way back, all the way in, all the way down, found the button again, and was finally able to click it. That was 22 very frustrating minutes.

Then I sat down to work.

My Mac wouldn’t show up on my external monitor. I cycled my monitor a couple times. I unplugged the breakout box that connects to it (along with many other things) from Mac (because it’s easy to reach). I unplugged the TV from the breakout box. I finally REBOOT MY MAC, and it can see the screen.

I NEVER reboot my Mac, so now I’m seeing programs auto start that I don’t want. I can’t kill one of these. So I force quit it, and remove it from the system. Then I notice a whole bunch of startup programs I don’t want — Microsoft, etc. — so I try to kill these. I reboot to see if they’re gone.

First, I can’t connect to my monitor again. Second, once I re-persuade it, I see I have NOT, in fact, removed those startup programs. I go on a hunt, rm -rf‘ing lots of stuff. I reboot. My Mac can’t see my external monitor. I don’t know if those things are gone now, and I don’t want to reboot for the fifth time this morning, and deal with my external monitor again.

While I’m doing all of this, my manager asks me to submit my time. I couldn’t because I was waiting on him to approve a vacation day, which I see he’s just done 26 minutes ago. I still don’t have 40 hours, and I finally notice that I submitted the vacation day for FEBRUARY 27th, not MARCH 27th, which both just happen to land on a Thursday, so it escaped both of us.

We use the infernal Workday for this nonsense, and I see there’s no direct way to get at this. Of course. Why would there be? I finally find the indirect way, and see there’s no option to delete, so I try to set the old day’s vacation hours to 0, and request the correct day. That was about an hour ago. I have no idea what hassles my manager is having to go through to make this work now, and I’m sorry.

Note that, I’m not talking about the hassle of trying to use a Mac “cleaner” application — which wants to charge me $40/year — and still can’t see the startup items I’m trying to remove. Nor am I talking about the popup in Teams on my work computer that wants me to stop what I’m doing and “profile” my voice.

It’s been 2 hours or so since this all started, and I still have crap on my Mac, I’m scared to reboot it again, I don’t know if my timesheet is going to work without further hassle, and I know that Teams is lurking to hassle me over more useless, privacy-invading AI nonsense.

And I’m just starting the day.

Now I need to restart a very long-running process on my work laptop because 1) it wanted to install updates, 2) the service I need to interact with is somehow shut off on the weekends, and 3) we lost power last night. So there were 3 ways I couldn’t keep this process going if I’d have wanted to do. Oh, that’s right. I did, in fact, want to.

UPDATE: I wanted a new image of a brain for this site. I load ChatGPT. “Something has gone wrong.” I reload. I ask, “Can you generate images.” Nothing happens. I hit enter again. Nothing happens. I do something else. I notice that ChatGPT is bugging me asking if there’s anything it can do for me. I retype my question. “Something has gone wrong.”

I really did get up on the wrong side of the bed today.

Giving Up

For all of my adult life, I’ve been convinced that the right thing, the correct thing, the moral, ethical, or “good” thing would prevail on its own merits. I’ve been under the spell of the notion that the world was a just place, and if people could just be shown the right way to do things, they would accept them and want to do them in that way. I now realize this is a complete and utter delusion which has been foisted on me because of my personality and, if we’re being honest, a bit of neural atypicality.

I have often rued the days where I blundered through meetings at work, pointing out why certain decisions sucked, and how we could make things better, and in the process, making everyone mad. It took a couple of decades to even work out that I was, in effect, calling everyone stupid, and no matter how right I was, people got their backs up and worked against my ideas just out of spite over a wounded pride. I’ve seen it more times than I can count, and that’s not hyperbole.

What I’ve finally figured out is that the same thing has been happening in churches. Indeed, why should church have been any different? It’s filled with selfish, stupid people, just like everywhere else. Well, to be fair, we’re supposed to care more about “rightness” than the working world. But, no, when push comes to shove, people abandon correctness for feelings, and hide behind sentiment and platitude, because holding people to account is hard.

Maybe those other people already understand that holding out for the right thing is too much trouble, and therefore accept acquiescence more quickly and easily. Maybe they don’t want to get involved to save their sanity. Maybe. In Christian theology, there’s an infinite supply of forgiveness, so we must always be willing to forgive. There’s always an opportunity to take the high(er) road, because there’s always a higher road. Perhaps at the expense of sanity, but, sure, it’s always available. So at least in church circles, the fallback position not only saves time and sanity, it also makes you look “holier than thou.” Win-win!

Realizing that my own attitudes work against me in business, I’ve tried to reset and work WITH people in moving them towards more correct positions, but that hasn’t worked very well either, so I’m doubly screwed. Turns out most people aren’t even open to thinking that whatever it is they’re doing could be improved. After being in “leadership” of a church beset with spiritual abuse for 30 years, and suddenly being able to speak directly to a game-changing crisis, I skipped the pleasantries and went straight for the “correct” approach again when it mattered most, and lost again. And no one wants to hear it. No one cares. No one else is bothered. Everyone just wants to move on. Everyone just wanted to roll over. I guess they have that choice, but then they don’t get to complain to me when the barking dog they’ve turned their back on bites them in the rear again.

So I’m done. I’ve already removed myself from that situation, but now I’m also removing my concern about it. I can’t change anything. I never could. Turns out, I couldn’t even budge the needle. I’m sick of trying to point out ethics and morality to a bunch of people who shouldn’t need the lesson in the first place. I’m tired of trying to hold people accountable for things when no one else will. So they all get what they’ve accepted, and I don’t want to hear any more complaining about it. Ever. Congrats, everyone. You win. I’ll shut up now.

Pain

Pain is realizing this is true, not just for society, or the world, but for our personal lives as well: family, friends, church, hobbies… everything. Sure, growing up and growing older should involve maturation and changes in direction and perspective, but no one told me I would be betrayed by my own body and my closest friends and mentors.

I’ve had two personal, related “911’s” — events that shook me to my core and changed everything — that struck at the same time 4 years ago — and I’m still trying to figure out how to get through it all and get better. The medicines I take for my health problems keep me continually off-balance, and make it nearly impossible for me to marshal my inner fortitude to make the changes and do the work to address the long term issues.

It’s just… hard, man. Really hard. No one really understands, nor do I really want them to. I don’t want to put that on them. There’s nothing they can do about it. I’ve never been stoic. I’ve moaned and bellyached to everyone who would listen my whole life. This time, though, there doesn’t seem to be anything ANYONE can do about it, because there’s no one thing that’s wrong. If there’s a way out, it’s through a dozen small things done with a measure of discipline that I have never been able to muster, even at my best.

The outlook is bleak, and we’re on the precipice of a second civil war, and at the verge of the End Times.

Windows Bluetooth Power Saving

I just “upgraded” my gaming PC to the latest big Windows patch, and wouldn’t you know it? They turned this infernal setting back on.

Because of this, I have to get up, and remove a USB device, and plug it back in to wake up my Bluetooth mouse. WHILE I’M SITTING HERE USING IT! On what planet does this make any sense!?

Before I figured it out, this is the same problem that almost made me return the computer a week after I bought it.

What moron at Microsoft is responsible for this? Wait. Don’t tell me. Because I think I’d drive to Seattle, and kick them in the balls.

What’s Going on with Xbox?

It’s simple: The PC gaming market is “scavenging” Microsoft’s own console market. Why buy a console when another $100 can get a PC that would play games about as well, and still be a general purpose computer? Don’t get me wrong, I love my Playstation for not being a general purpose PC. I love the ability to just put it to sleep and then fire it up again and continue from where I was. I love never having to deal with flaky drivers, constant updates, or cheaters. But I “get” that most people in the market for a single “computing device” that can play AAA games would opt for a PC.

Additionally, I think it’s another subtle data point that proves my hypothesis that more and more people are choosing Apple hardware when it’s their money, and therefore not spending in the Microsoft ecosystem. Microsoft loves to tout how, decade after decade, Windows accounts for a crazy-high percentage of the market, but personal experience proves that this doesn’t hold up with people. For years, I’ve argued that if you could subtract corporate purchases from the equation, the situation would look very, very different. Finally, from Extremetech, which draws from this archived article from the Seattle Times, I’ve stumbled on a report that proves my theory.

Share of “Personal” Compute

This chart says it all: From 2004 to 2012, Microsoft’s share of the consumer computing market has plummeted from 95% to 20%. For 20 years, Microsoft enjoyed an almost complete monopoly of consumer computing — and yet today, it is a minority stake holder, languishing behind Google’s 42% and Apple’s 24%. This report at CNET says gaming PC’s are selling at about parity with consoles, and we know that Xbox sales are 1/5th of Playstation, so the bottom line is that the AAA-gaming world is coming down to gaming PC’s and… Playstation.

Steam and the State of Mac Gaming

I have an M3-based MacBook Pro. Before that I had a MBP with an nVidia GPU. Before that I had a MBP with an AMD GPU. All 3 have been bad at running any games not 1) specifically written for a Mac or 2) not ancient PC games that a Raspberry Pi could run. I fired up Steam on my Mac, and was asked to do a survey. Yes! By all means, I would love my Mac to be counted as a computer running Steam. Here is the marketshare of the results by operating system.

Even Linux is only at 2%, and that includes the supposedly wildly-successful Steam Deck! After all of these years, and the alleged advances in Proton over various implementations of Wine, I would have thought there would be better penetration after 25-30 years.

The Mac fares even worse. I have a few actual Mac games, and they play great. I even have a couple of Steel Series game controllers that work well with them. But visually and conceptually, they’re no more advanced than a Nintendo Switch game, and the Switch is a glorified tablet. When you click through to games in the App Store, there are some AAA titles there, but 1) they’re really old now, and 2) I already have them on other platforms, and I don’t want to buy them again.

This is just sad to me. Various reports are painting a picture that Microsoft is letting Xbox be scavenged by PC, and people are worried they’re going to get out of the hardware game. So gaming is boiling down to PC’s running Windows, Playstation, and Switch. And phones, I guess, if you want to count mobile. I wish there was increasing competition in the space after all this time. I like my Playstation just great, but I don’t want Sony thinking they can just do whatever they want because they have no competition in the “real” gaming segment.

Lies and their Debt

“Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later that debt is paid.”

It’s a quote from the HBO miniseries about the Chernobyl disaster. You can see the truth of it at first glance, but the REAL problem here — in the disaster, and in personal life — is that the narcissistic, sociopathic, and avaricious (extremely greedy) people who tell the most, biggest, and longest-term lies are often NOT the ones who pay the debt.

Class Action Jokes

I’ve gotten emails about being in 3 class-action settlements against Verizon, Anthem, and Walgreens. I usually click through them and just see what happens. The Verizon one started distributions today. My take? $12.15. On a prepaid, digital-only card that the plan administrators probably are getting kickbacks for using. This stuff is all such a joke. There ought to be a law that says if the settlement won’t yield, like, at least THREE figures of money for people, the lawyers don’t get to file and make all their filthy lucre.

Spiritual Takeaways

Many, many years ago, a preacher I respected mispronounced “concupiscence” — or maybe it was “incontience” — some “bible” word — and I made the mistake of pointing it out. It was even privately, one-on-one, well after the fact. He proceeded to tell me a long story about how he heard his pastor mispronounce a word once, and as he struggled to get a note to him to point it out, he heard him explain the word correctly anyway. The lesson was obvious. You shouldn’t try to correct your spiritual superiors. It’s not your place.

Several years later, he told a story about a woman in Las Vegas getting into an elevator with 2 black men, and thinking they wanted to rob her, and she got all scared and dropped her bucket of slot machine coins. As the story goes, it turns out it was Eddie Murphy and Michael Jordan, who thought it was funny, and sent her a bunch of money wrapped around roses or something. It was one of those stupid email chain letter things in the 90’s, the kind that Snopes was invented to debunk. It never happened.

Having seen this long before, and not being about anything spiritual, and ignorantly thinking he wouldn’t want to relay “fake news,” I sent the Snopes article to him. Just him. I didn’t CC anyone else. I wasn’t trying to embarrass him. A few months later, he told the whole story again, with nary a hint of it being fake. I took that as a direct shot at me, to show that he was going to say whatever he wanted in the pulpit, no matter what. I understood the point to be that I should never question him. About anything. Ever. After that day, I didn’t. In fact, I can’t recall ever saying anything to him about what he preached again, good or bad.

Because I never brought it up, and never talked about his preaching again, I’m sure he felt the “teaching moment” had achieved its intended effect. However, the lesson I actually learned from it was that he played fast and loose with the truth, even if he was in the pulpit, and I never looked at him the same way again.

Little did I know that this was the first few snowflakes that would eventually start an avalanche.